Journal

Theres very few things that I admit taught me anything. There are even fewer things that leave a lasting impression on me and, as a part of an even smaller thing, I barely accept anything. When I was young I had a very intense, maybe even traumatizing, set of problems; a set of problems that my parents tried to fix, they only way they knew how: a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a therapist and some hard medication. Over time I learned to manage and I had some residual treatment in me, also known as, journaling. 

The journey journal wasn’t anything new to me. I did it for years on my own, and I owned boxes upon boxes of them, until I decided that writing them and keeping them was not something I wanted to do anymore. Writing down my thoughts and throwing them away after a few months seemed the most appealing to mw. During the semester I retired my usual journal and used this one instead. Something that was really different and unusual for me was the near daily writing, I was more of a weekly writer for about an hour or two. I felt really drained after a day or two in the week and I felt almost forced and with nothing coherent to write, so I think the journal might be full of blabber, messy sentences and continues thoughts. Very few times did I consider that a journal entry had a purpose to me. 

The idea of the compass is something that I am looking forward to implement on my own journal from now on, I like the idea of having a tracked record of my emotions that week, and having it explained by simple numbers. I think it gives a little bit more of a meaning and a purpose to the writing, and its always good to know what sort of “score” (emotion, mindfulness, exhaustion, etc) atrack certain emotions and thoughts, rather than going with a vague idea. The compass helped me a lot with my path to understanding my anxiety, panic and depression patterns, very helpful throughout. I look forward to continue the use of it and to see the benefits that it could bring to my health and my life. 

The multi-genre project was something completely different to me. I’ve always been a bit of a writer and a creative person but, not in this way. It felt hard to me to incorporate a lot of what was asked into the project. Creativity and analysis in the way that was felt unnatural. The idea that I had to share it too in front of the class for me even more stomped, because in my mind and ideals, there a certain things that you simply don’t share with other people because they’re the key to you, and your person. privileged people should get that, not just everyone, so I always felt the need to filter and edit before I even considered turning it in, let alone share it in class. They were hard, but I worked them, and I did the best I could. Glad I can say, I will never do them again in my own time. 

Journey

Journey is a word that means different things to different people. Everyone has a different journey to experience and feel and a different journey to build for themselves and sometimes journeys become similar, other times they’re wildly different. There’s journey for our opinions, and for our sense of self, for our ideas of childhood, for success, love, romance, and so much more. We can’t judge other peoples journey because we never know the things they had to live with.

I’m fully aware that a lot of my points ion view and opinions might be, somewhat, problematic and in the classroom they might incite a bit of a fight that I tend to avoid. Which shouldn’t be a fear that I should have, because we all gave a right to have opinions and points of view, even if they are wrong. We all deserve a space to share our opinions and I have learned the hard way, that out there, outside of my relationship with close friends and my significant other, I can’t really speak about things I’ve found and have a civil discussion. I am right a lot of the times but, I am also wrong some of the time, but being belittled and made to look stupid in the classroom is not really something I actively look forward to, specially by professors and students that think that you don’t think they way they do, you’re less of a human. 

This is a journey that people don’t really look at a lot of the times. The same way that we discussed tourism, and self esteem, and the concept of home. There’s a lot of other journeys that can be spoken about: The idea of love, what’s the best relationship to have?, what’s a real friend, our ideals, our opinions and why we have them, things we notice, things we don’t notice. We really need to learn more about each other with a neutral eyes and realize that there isn’t only one way to look at things, but a million, and be open to them. What’s the need to pressure people one way, when maybe they have a different point of view that you do? Clearly we have a lot more to grow as people. I have my weaknesses and wrongs, but so does everyone else, and some people refuse to see that. I think we should learn that. Our journey are our own, and I don’t really see the need to share them, if I don’t want to. 

Group project reflexion

I have a strong dedication to my work and I always have. I like things on time and with no problem; this semester has been the exception and I think it has a lot to do with my anxiety and all that, but I’m working through it. The saying of “If you want something right you do it yourself” is very strong with our group projects. Our group is rarely ever completed, so the work that would probably take less time to finish, takes more, because someone in the group needs to take two or up to three works besides the one they already have, making the work sloppy and bad. I feel like our group works has never been their best or to where they could be. 

We get chatty and distracted by the topic than working on what we need to. I feel like we never really grasped the concept of the work, and my group never really seemed to do the work that I felt should be done. I don’t really enjoy working in groups, because one way or another the works rest on one or more people, but never the whole group. The phrase “now get into your groups” always made my skin crawl just a little bit more, every time I heard it; also considering that we always had one or two people missing, with one constant. I’ll never understand why he didn’t just drop out of the class to be completely honest (he never really give it his best or at all, alone or in the group, not that many of my business). 

In conclusion. we could’ve done better, and the topics we touched could’ve benefitted from a more careful hand and less time pressure, maybe instead of a forced twenty minutes a loser forty could’ve allowed the work to be done better; especially by groups that never had all their members showing up to class, but thats just my observation and conclusion from what I could feel and sense while doing the work myself and observing the other groups. It had the potential to be so much better that what they were and the group coulee also put more effort than it did.